Christmas - No Thank You

It’s that special time of year again, when there’s a chill in the air, festive decorations everywhere, and the snow seems magical and leaves you with that childlike sense of wonder. Unfortunately, it’s also the time of year when everyone is completely obsessed with Christmas: Christmas music, Christmas decorations, Christmas-themed photos. Now, call me a Scrooge if you want to, but I’m here to preach the real truth: Christmas fucking sucks.

Recently, Time Out New York published an article titled “People Need To Stop Holding Hands On The Sidewalk" – this is just ONE reason Christmas sucks and this shit is everywhere. Everyone seems to constantly be out to try to prove that they’re having a better Christmas season than you. This includes people you don’t terribly care about trying to prove they’ve got more love, more gifts, more fireplace, more PDA – and while some of those things are nice, it’s the intentions behind it that suck... that need to prove it, makes it the literal worst.

Let us not forget the gift aspect of Christmas. Of course there are some people that say they don’t want anything for Christmas, but only about 5% of those people actually mean it. Even if you can’t afford to buy everyone you want a gift, there’s still that daunting pressure to satisfy everyone you love with STUFF. Well I say, “don’t try to quantify my love!” In the humble words of Kanye West, “my presence is a present,” and I think more people need to realize that.

Instead of indulging in consumerism and using the holidays as an excuse to be gluttonous (then hate yourself for not managing to deprive yourself of everything when you create unreasonable New Years Resolutions), try to give back by volunteering, making others laugh, complimenting others, and by not trying to validate your good Christmas feelings and cheer with social media likes.

If you’re Jewish, L’Chaim (but Hannukah sucks too because it’s literally all about gifts), latkes 4 life.

#AlanaSeggman #AlanaHatesChristmas #StellarUnderground #bestupandcomingcomedians #newyorkcity #Christmas #MerryChristmas #BahHumbug #KanyeWest #funtopics


Stellar Underground is a blog dedicated to keeping up with the up and coming comedians in New York City. And, since we are obsessed with comedy in general- we also talk about everything in between.

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