Graduates, parents, alumnus new and old, myself. Welcome. And please join me in giving a tremendous congratulations to the Class of 2017...and myself. Hey, we did it, remember? A little old victory called the electoral college. I think some of you know what I'm talking about.
When I was asked to give this speech, to the Freedom Fighters University of Coal and Unsustainability, or as I call it, “America’s Sweetheart U,” I thought, “remarkable.” It is so so very remarkable that you all get to listen to me, huh? Pretty cool, right? I'm the President.
I see the crowd stretches for miles. Almost as much of a stretch as it was for me to win the presidency. This is not surprising. Big numbers. Huge numbers. No one thought we could. But here we are, and more importantly, here I am. The President of the United States. Graduation. A red red map. All you could see was red. Electoral victory. Big big electorals.
Now, some of you are thinking, “What do we do now?” And I’ll tell ya. They asked me to inspire the students, so here I am. Can you believe it? They asked me. Of course they did. Deals. Nuclear. Coal. Ivanka. Drain. The. Swamp.
Right in front of me—can you believe it—the world’s future leaders. Of course in front of you—the world leader. Full circle, huh? Class of 2017, two thousand and seventeen young, and I imagine some are pretty hot too, two thousand and seventeen young and hot students graduating from this class. That is truly truly amazing. Don’t let the liberal media take that away. Because they will try. Trust me. They tried with me, and it was crooked, crooked, crooked. But there is two thousand and seventeen of you—which by the way, come on, let’s hear it for me, I got many many more votes than that electorally. The most votes.
So. Pretty good speech, huh? Preettty good. The prettiest. The goodest. Congratulations, me, on winning the Presidency. Thank me, thank me.